The Blame Merchants®

"We lose sleep so you don't have to."

Don't blame him, blame usHave you ever screwed up at work? Forgotten your mother's birthday? Drank too much and said things you shouldn't have? Now you don't have to worry. The Blame Merchants® are here to take the fall for you.

Sin, lie, cheat, steal. Guilt and worry-free. Let our team of professionally-trained scapegoats take the weight off your shoulders

How about bad weather, high interest rates, broken pay-phones, traffic jams. What good is cursing if you don't have somebody to curse at? Studies show that unfocused anger can cause severe stress. And who needs more stress?

Take advantage of this week's adultery special. Cheat once, and your next time's free!!

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Ask about our special corporate services. Mining disaster? Massive lay-offs? Toxic spill? Defective product? Somebody's got to take the fall. Why sacrifice a valuable employee. Contract out your culpability.

Caught in a compromising position. Don't trust your reputation to a stranger, get a pro to take the blame

Mea CulpaWith every purchase you receive a signed declaration of The Blame Merchants® acceptance of all responsibility for your actions.

Try our new all-purpose Gift Certicate, good for any indiscretion up to a class 1 felony or damage under $50,000. At only $5.00 each, you can't afford not to own a few. Keep one in your wallet, your purse, the glove compartment of your car.

Low, low rates. Quick turnaround. Guaranteed accountability or your money back. And now, so easy to purchase on your credit card

New!! Absolve yourself instantly - Click here to go to our secure server and place your order by credit card

Greater crimes against humanity? Email for a free estimate or send 3.00 and a SASE for a complete catalogue to

The Blame Merchants

P.O. Box #74102 - 4101 Main St.
Vancouver, B.C.

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The Bank-B-Gone Story