Introducing, the amazing

Totalog2000

"Your One True Friend"

"Revolutionary,"

Doug Hyndford, Smoky Lake Forest Products



"I can't believe I've managed to live this long without one."

Russell Joyce, retired



Yes, just two of the many comments we've had since the recent development of the amazing



The Only Product You Will Ever Need!!!


Over 2000 amazing uses!!


Camping * Automotive * Inner City Safety * Physical Fitness * Office Organization * Backwoods Survival * First Aid * Barbecues * Gardening * Romantic Interludes



Our scientists have worked for years to come up with this ultimate conglomeration, a mix of the two most sought after element of existence. Portability, and Log.

Totalog 2000 has so many incredible uses, you won't ever want to be without it.

Ideal around the home, the office, the kitchen.


Essential to any car's emergency kit!!!


Let your friends look on in envy as you become the first in your crowd to own new Totalog 2000




!!ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY!!
!!WATERPROOF!!
!!RICH IN FIBRE!!
!!BIO-DEGRADABLE!!
!!MADE FROM NATURE'S OWN INGREDIENTS!!
!!LOW MAINTENANCE COSTS!!
!!NO MOVING PARTS!!
!!ACTUALLY FLOATS!!

!!SO SIMPLE, EVEN A CHILD COULD USE IT!!


"I don't go anywhere without my Totalog 2000"

Dave Dawson, Security Guard


"For an exciting evening out, all I need is a tight black dress and my new Totalog Lite and I'm ready for anything."

Natassia DeChasselet, topless dancer


So Simple!! So Convenient!!
So Portable!! So Stylish!!



c/o
P.O. Box #74102 - 4101 Main St.
Vancouver, B.C.
V5V 3P6

larry@bank-b-gone.com



The Blame Merchants T-Shirts Larry links lyrics totalog2000

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