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The fifth amendment does not cover burping

I will not waste chalk

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not burp in class

I will not instigate revolution

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I did not see Elvis

I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'

Garlic gum is not funny

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not fake my way through life

Tar is not a plaything

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not trade pants with others

I will not do that thing with my tongue

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not sell school property

I will not cut corners

I will not get very far with this attitude

I will not make flatulent noises in class

I will not belch the National Anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not grease the monkey bars

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not show off {The board was written in an Old English font}

I will not sleep through my education

I am not a dentist

Spitwads are not free speech

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

High explosives and school don't mix

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

I will finish what I sta

Hamsters cannot fly

Underwear should be worn on the inside

The Christmas pageant does not stink

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not carve gods

I will not spank others

I will not aim for the head

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not conduct my own fire drills

Funny noises are not funny

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

This punishment is not boring and meaningless

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not prescribe medication

I will not bury the new kid

I will not teach others to fly

I will not bring sheep to class

A burp is not an answer

Teacher is not a leper

I will not eat things for money

I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call

The principal's toupee is not a frisbee

I will not squeak chalk

Goldfish don't bounce

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell miracle cures

I will return the seeing-eye dog

I do not have diplomatic immunity

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

I will never win an Emmy

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

I am not deliciously saucy

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

I will not use abbrev.

I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups